What a Week!

It has been just that and more. Two Saturdays ago my PawPaw Joe passed away after battling several forms of illness. While it wasn't entirely unexpected it still hit me with a raw sense of disbelieving grief that often comes with a death in the family. Paul and I quickly made plans to join my mom in East Texas for the funeral. With the exception of my sister (who was 10 months pregnant at the time) and her husband, my whole family was able to make it. The funeral was held on a beautifully crisp, early spring day that teased with the idea of donning a pair of shorts and running barefoot through the already green grass. Reality dictated that the shorts be delayed for at least a month. The trees held soft pink and white blossoms, and a light breeze played through the tops of the pines. ...isn't it interesting how much life we notice when we are grieving a death? I'm not one to succumb to open shows of grief but as we sat in the pews during the funeral I lost my composure when my young cousin crawled into her mom's arms and began to weep openly. Again I struggled to hold it together when my PawPaw's coffee shop friends (they met every morning and evening to pass around the same jokes, tease the pretty little waitress', and share their every day lives) passed by the casket. Their sadness was obvious. My mom asked us before the funeral what we remembered about my PawPaw but I drew a complete blank. As I law in bed that night my mind was flooded with so many memories I was awake for hours. I remember my PawPaw sitting on the back porch with Puffles in his lap, singing 'A hole in the bottom of the Sea' and old Baptist Church Hymns that you rarely hear today. I remember him teaching me how to cook bacon in a frying pan. I remember going to the Dukes games and he would buy himself a bag of peanuts and I would usually get cotton candy (a rare and wonderful treat). My greatest memory is this, I was able to take my Lillian to meet him just after this past Christmas. He took us on a tour of his old fishing spots and his Mail Route, introduced us to all his coffee shop buddies at "Jim's" and drove around and showed us the best Christmas lights in the area. It was wonderful. He showed off Lillian every chance he could and never missed an opportunity to say 'Boy, She sure has eyes for me'! At one point he told my mom that he didn't think he was ever gonna get to see her. But he did, and he loved her, and I will always be able to tell Lillian that her JoeJoe thought that she was an absolute treat.

Paul and I decided to fly back last Thursday to spare our 8mo. old another 18 hour drive. I was also motivated by the fact that my sister was being induced that day. After spending several hours with the pitocin drip and labor proceeding enough that her water broke, the doctor decided they needed to do a c-section because my nephew's head was cocked backward instead of tucked under. We waited in the appropriately named 'waiting room' for several hours before a nurse stepped out and said everything went well and Kate and the baby were in recovery. My brother-in-law Peter brought my precious nephew out so we could all ooooh and aaah over him and we didn't dissapoint! He is wonderfully precious at 8lbs 14oz. and 20 1/2 in.! I've been able to go to the hospital and see him every day so far and my heart just melts every time he makes a noise, or moves, or just lies there sleeping. So, my heart is just a puddle of mush most of the time! They're going home today and that will begin a whole new set of challenges and wonderful rewards for my sister's new family.

So this morning is the first day back to work for Paul and I am alone enough to reflect deeply over the past week. It is a strange sensation to escort a beloved family member from this world and turn around and welcome another precious heart into it. And while my own heart stills struggles with a raw sense of grief for my PawPaw Joe I know that I will see him again. He knew and loved the Lord and is with Him today. Now my attention and prayer will be on my precious babies. My own little Lillian and my new precious Allister John will be in my prayers that they will have a heart for the Lord that far exceeds anything I've seen, and that they will be a powerful woman, and godly man that seek out the Glory of God. My prayers are also with my sister who is recovering from her surgery.

What have I learned this week? Life is uncertain, but God is not. He is to be glorified in death and in life. Amen.